


Library of Ages

by Quantumcats



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Adventure, Blow Jobs, Fantasy, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, I have a plot map I've lost my mind I cannot sleep, M/M, Slow Burn, hologram!steven, inhuman!ryan, no thoughts head empty heart full of two boys in a library, original characters come in a bit later, professor!shane, shyan, skeptic believer, so much sand, specific warnings for chapters that might need them in chapter notes, there's a lot of plot in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:01:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26434609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quantumcats/pseuds/Quantumcats
Summary: Shane has spent years trying to find a fabled library, and managed to complete the underground puzzle doors leading to it. He stands in front of the large final door, having arranged the final puzzle to the configuration he believes to be correct. All he has to do is pull the lever.He hopes to find all the library's secrets within. But he finds so much more.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 41
Kudos: 48





	1. Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> Okay real quick, just, obligatory:
> 
> I'm 300% aware Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara are not together in real life. They have wonderful chemistry and a precious friendship I have no intention of bothering. I'm working to keep this from their eyes, yknow? This is for fun. That's all. Thank you!! I love you, please enjoy <3
> 
> Find me on tumblr @libraryofages

Shane reached into the square-framed hole in the wall, his shoulder making contact with the cold stone, seeking a lever - and found just that. As he pulled, he could hear cogs and gears turning, but another sound followed close behind. A much, much louder one.

He startled, trying to return the lever to its original position, to undo whatever horror he had just unleashed - instead snapping it clean off the mechanism in the wall. He looked at it in his hands incredulously. "Really?"

Unyielding rolls of thunder accompanied more loud crashes, and they were definitely getting closer. "Shit. Fuck. Shit shit shit---" Shane turned on his heels, seeking a way out, but the tunnel behind him had collapsed in the first cacophony. His only way out was forward, through the oversized stone door in front of him.

Which is exactly where the sound was approaching from.

Before he could even try to formulate another plan, something hit the other side of the door with a loud thud. Dust escaped from the edges in small puffs, catching the light from Shane's lantern. He braced, waiting. The loudest of the sounds had ceased, which left only a quieter, steady and muffled noise on the other side. His body relaxed ever so slightly, knowing whatever trap he had triggered was over. But now there was no way he was getting through.

He sighed. He was trapped pretty damn surely now. Not a soul from the surface knew where he was (stupid, yes, he knew). "Dammit. DAMMIT." He gritted.

As if in answer, the imposing door before him shifted, ever so slightly. Shane watched as a thin piece of rock crumbled and dislodged near the top, pouring dust and sand in a tiny cascade to the floor. Was that crack there before?

Another shift, this time accompanied by a much, MUCH larger crack. Rock debris settled to the dirt floor at Shane's feet, followed by more sand. This wasn't a door anymore.

It was a dam.

His attempt to run was a futile one, a basic human instinct that rationale would find lacking, as the sand came crashing through the ancient monolith. The sound was deafening, the dust and sand endless, and Shane had nowhere to go.

Even with his absurdly long stride, he didn't get far before it slid beneath his feet, tripping his step and sending him careening to the ground. The sand overtook him easily, entombing him and silencing his useless call for help in mere moments. Then, as quickly as it began, all was quiet again.

\-------------

Shane coughed himself awake, surprised to find himself surrounded by air, not crushed by sand and dirt. He opened his eyes instinctively, but the dust made his vision blur and sting. He winced.

"Don't, don't try to move," a voice chided. Shane tried to sit up as fast as his body would allow-- which, to be fair, wasn't that fast, once he felt the rib in his left side sear white hot pain. Definitely, deeefinitely broken. He collapsed back down, panicking and trying to make out the shapes around him in the low light.

"I just - what did I just say, man?" the voice spoke again. It didn't sound dangerous, but Shane would feel better if he could see who it belonged to.

"Where am I?" He croaked to the unknown voice, throat dry and agonizingly scratched. Probably breathed in sand, he thought.

"Safe." It returned simply. Shane heard gentle footsteps approaching him where he lay, on some sort of bed. Maybe he was in the hospital? Who found him? Why was it so dark? He willed his eyes to clear, to function at some level where he could answer his own questions. He didn't appreciate being at the mercy of another person.

Staring straight up, the ceiling above him began to clarify. It was...not a hospital. Or maybe it was, he'd not been to many this far from home, to be fair. But he was at least MOSTLY sure it wasn't a hospital. Generally, they didn't have weathered stone ceilings. And the light was not nearly stark and cold enough to be any sort of medical building.

"You're lucky I heard you." The voice added. It was much closer now. Shane moved his head just a little, just enough to look toward the source of the words.

A figure, a man, with dark hair and strange drape-like clothes had approached the bedside. Though he appeared strong enough, he didn't seem imposing. He couldn't have been over 5'9, Shane estimated. Shane might be mostly limb, but he's 6'4, so he could take him.

Probably.

Maybe.

But not when his skin had just been rather forcefully exfoliated and his rib was broken like a twig, that much he knew.

"How? Who? Wh...where?" Shane stumbled, not knowing what information he was most eager for first.

"I heard the failsafe trip, but not a minute later, I heard a crash and a call for help."

"The failsafe? You mean the sand?" Shane asked, squinting in question.

"Well...yes, uh, mostly. It...it wasn't supposed to break the door down. Just seal it for good. But it's uh, it's pretty old." The man answered, smiling as if he had just made a joke. Shane must have missed it. Or maybe this guy was a psychopath. Anything was possible.

"Yeah." Shane agreed, not knowing what else to say about it. "So...it wasn't supposed to kill me in some sort of Indiana Jones style grave?"

"Ind..." The man looked a little lost. But he moved on. "No. Not like that, at least. You may have died there anyway, but buried alive? Not the immediate intent."

Great. Comforting. Cool.

"O..kay, okay. So who are you?"

"Me? Well, I keep this place safe. I'm the Keeper." He answered, proudly.

"What's your name though?"

"I never needed one."

This dude gets weirder with every goddamn sentence--

"-you just. You don't? Have a name?"

"No, I do not."

"What do I call you then? 'The Keeper'?"

"You can."

"Alright....Keeper. So where am I exactly?"

"You're in the Library of Ages." He said, matter-of-factly.

Shane went pale. The pain in his rib sharpened as his breathing grew frantic. "I'm- it's- no. Nuh uh. No way. I'm dead. I'm dead and this is some weird afterlife bullshit." He paused, thinking. "No, no that shit doesn't- it's not real, so, but I'm- oh fuck."

And with that, Shane was out again.

\-------------

He awoke again some time later to an empty room. The warm glow of lantern-like lamps filled the space with a dim light, which calmed Shane as he gathered his thoughts.

"Okay. Okayokayokay, right." He muttered to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose with his right hand. "So I made it to the door, pulled....broke, the lever, got buried alive, and then woke up here. Wherever here is." He said to himself, opening his eyes again.

He looked around the room. Stacks of books, scrolls, and papers covered almost every inch of several antique-looking desks. A few books were open, and others had ribbon bookmarks sticking out the bottom of their pages. The walls, floor, and even ceiling were stone, a sandy color. Shane shuddered. Sand. He was pretty done with sand today.

The bed he lay on was simple, and definitely made for one person. It wasn't uncomfortable, but Shane needed to sit up more to better assess his situation.

His rib once again made its presence known as he carefully brought himself up and to the edge of the bed. The man who had been with him earlier was nowhere to be seen, which Shane had mixed feelings about. Waking up to some weird stranger telling you you almost died was uncomfortable. But for some reason, waking up to an empty room was worse. He dreaded the pain that standing was going to cause him, but steeled himself to get up nonetheless. He had just barely made the attempt when the man rounded the doorway, looking alarmed when he saw Shane.

"Hey! No! What is wrong with you, dude?" He rushed over to him, setting down a small stack of books in a hurry.

"You weren't here so I figured I'd look around. Sue me." Shane half-laughed, half-winced, settling himself back on the edge of the bed.

"I was just- I only left for like five-" The Keeper started, but resigned himself to a sigh, sitting in the desk chair just behind him. "Okay. Why don't we just pick up where we left off. I'm the Keeper, you're in the Library of Ages. Don't pass out this time okay?" He held up his hands in a 'relax' gesture, half-smiling.

Shane took a breath. "Alright. Okay. Yep. With you so far."

"Okay. Good. Great! We're doing great. Now, why don't you tell me who YOU are?" The man asked, with no malicious tone that Shane could discern.

"I'm Shane. Uh, Shane Madej." He answered awkwardly.

"Shane. Alright." The Keeper smiled a bit more. "Welcome to the Library of Ages, Shane." He held out his arms in presentation as he spoke.

Shane took a moment to survey the room. "It's uh. It's lovely. I like the touches of velvet. Lot of books, which makes sense I guess." He smiled as politely as he could manage, but to be honest, he was a little underwhelmed. It's not quite what he'd read about.

"Oh, you think- oh, no, this isn't the library right here, it's just - this is my study." The Keeper laughed. "The library is out there." He said, pointing to the doorway.

"That makes more sense, now that I think about it." Shane joked. He paused, looking hopefully at the Keeper. "Can I see it?"

"Can you walk?"

"Can I? Yes. Will it hurt like hell? Also yes. But eh, that's good enough for me."

The Keeper didn't look so sure, but he acquiesced. "Let me help you up." He walked over to act as a steadying hand to help Shane to his feet. Shane breathed in sharply as he activated the muscles surrounding the broken bone, but he powered through. If this really was the Library of Ages, no amount of broken bones was stopping him from seeing it right fucking now.

It was slow going as Shane made his way to the doorway, the Keeper close by should he need help. He stopped before entering the hall. "Lead the way, Mr. Keeper." He gestured outward, inviting the Keeper to take the lead, following close behind.

As they neared the end of the hall, Shane could see that the room they were approaching was enormous. Closer still, and he could tell that this was an upper level of some sort. But once he crossed into the room itself, he thought he might just collapse again right there.

He was right, they were on what looked to be the second level of the largest room Shane had ever seen. The railing in front of them snaked around each level, the center open to an atrium at the bottom. He counted at least 10 levels above them, and there looked to be halls extending outward from each one. Light poured down from the ceiling, emanating from a source Shane couldn't quite place, catching the specks of dust that hung in the air. Spiral staircases connected each level in mid-toned wood, and Shane distantly realized that this man had carried his dead weight up at least one. He couldn't say he wasn't impressed - Shane knew he's not the easiest person to carry.

The Keeper watched Shane's eyes as he took in the sight before them, smiling at the boy-like wonder that painted his features. Shane didn't seem to notice.

"This is...this...oh, my god. Wow." He breathed, his vision still unsure where to settle. He turned back to the Keeper just for a moment. "This is amazing. More than I ever dreamed."

The Keeper laughed fondly. "Why don't we head downstairs?" He offered.

Shane nodded. "Yeah, yeah okay. Might as well start on floor number one right?"

"Yeah." The Keeper laughed again. "C'mon. It's this way, down that staircase."

Shane followed closely. He could probably get lost here. But part of him didn't find that concept all too terrifying. One thing was still bugging him, though.

"So you really have no name? Just Keeper?"

"Yeah, never needed one, so I never had one." He answered easily.

Shane pondered for a moment as they started down the staircase. "Do...did you ever want one?" He asked. The Keeper stopped.

"You know, I never really thought about it. Why? What name do you think I should have?" He asked, looking upward at Shane from his lower place on the stairs. Again, there was no malice in his words. He seemed genuinely curious.

Shane thought for a moment. "I'm not sure. Give me a minute."

The Keeper started back down the stairs again. "Don't worry. No rush."

When they reached the bottom, The Keeper headed for a dais-like area in the center of the atrium. They hadn't taken ten steps when the name came to Shane. It felt right as soon as he thought of it.

"Ryan." He said, loud enough to get the Keeper to turn around. He pondered it for a few seconds, and clearly decided he liked it, if his beaming smile was any indication.

"Okay. Then that's what it will be."

"Okay? So you're just accepting the first name I gave? Really?"

"Yep." He started back toward the dais, Shane taking longer strides to catch up.

"You don't want to hear any alternatives? I'm sure I could come up with something better, how about Craig?" He paused. "No, yeah, that one sucks. Oh! How about something cool, like, uh, HYPERION-"

"Nope. Ryan works." He interjected, stopping at a podium by the edge of the dais.

"I mean, okay, sure." Shane said quietly. Before he could even try to protest further, a flash of blue light burst into existence in the center of the dais, settling rather quickly into the shape of a man. Shane nearly passed out again. It had been a long day with quite a few emotions for him. Too many, almost.

"Hello! Shane, right? I think I heard that right. Oh it has been YEARS since anyone's been here."

Oh. It was talking to him.

"What the fu-"

"Oh! Right, yes, hi, I'm the index. The library's mainframe, AI, whatever you want to call it. Sentient TEchno-Variant ENtity." It said, quick and cheerful.

"Senti-"

"STEVEN, if that's easier."

"It is. Yeah. Ok. Uhhhh," Shane was still processing.

"Did I hear you correctly? Did you give The Keeper a name?" The hologram asked, raising its eyebrows at him.

Shane suddenly felt like maybe he overstepped. "I- uh - sorry, I mean, he said he didn't have one, but wanted-"

"No! That's great! What did you decide on?"

"Ryan. He called me Ryan." Ryan damn near beamed.

"Ryan! Great! Oh man, I've been calling him "Keeper" since the beginning of....well, it's been a long time. Do you want to keep it?"

"...Yes, I do. I like it. Ry-an." He tested it on his tongue slowly. 

"Great, I'll update the records." He paused for a moment. "There we go. All set, RYAN." (Wait, did the hologram just do finger guns?)

"Now, Mr.....Shane, Shane....Madej? The university professor?"

"How-"

"Internet, my friend." Steven responded, seeing Shane's confusion.

"....Yes, yeah, that's me." Shane answered.

"So now I have to ask--"

"--How did you find us? Here?" Ryan finished Steven's question.

"Well, I didn't mean to find you, specifically. Not that I'm upset! This is awesome! But I set out to find this...place, I'd heard of. Read about. I never in my wildest dreams expected to find something so...incredible." Shane gestured to the library around them, a look of awe still securely plastered to his face. "You said humans have been here before?"

"Only a few. But not for hundreds of years, now." Ryan answered.

"But what about you?" Shane directed.

"Oh, Ryan is--"

"----I don't count." Ryan cut Steven off, forcefully. Shane took note, as it was definitely a little odd, but he had too much to ask to address it right now.

"Alright, so who then? Other scholars? Kings?"

Out of the corner of Shane's eye, Ryan visibly shrank into himself, his form more caged. Shane hadn't seen him wear that emotion yet. He wasn't a fan of it.

"This place is open to those who find it. But not every visitor has been..." he paused, searching, looking to Ryan.

"-kind." Ryan finished for him, turning away a little more.

Shane felt something ache in his chest, but decided not to press. "Oh. Right...well, I promise you guys, I'm not here for---for anything nefarious. I just want to learn, more or less. I can't....believe I'm here. Everything I could ever want to know...is here. Right. Here." He looked up at the expanse above him, allowing himself to smile widely again. He then looked to Ryan, hoping to see him do the same. Ryan had relaxed a little, and a smile pulled one side of his mouth up ever so slightly. But Shane caught it. Success.

"In that case, Mr. Madej-" Steven began.

"Shane. Please."

"Shane. Where would you like to start?"

\-------------

Shane started by asking for a tour, as he was far too overwhelmed to narrow it down to anything more specific. And so Ryan obliged.

They began in the main halls of the first floor, Ryan pointing out specific sections as they passed them, but noting that there were many more in the numerous wings further in. He told Shane that if he wanted to find a specific section, Steven would know where everything and anything was. The index could be accessed at any of the dais areas, which were placed throughout the library, at any time. Shane was the exact type of person to have a hyper-specific burning question at 3am, so he figured that could be a great feature of the library for him. Gotta know the number of atoms in a human hair RIGHT NOW or he can't sleep? Solved. Awesome. Like a weird, cheerful and more talkative Google. Without the capitalism.

"So, it's just you then? No one else was with you on your search?" He asked Shane as they passed into another library wing.

"Would I have pulled the lever and nearly died if I had a second brain with me?" Shane responded.

"Well, hey, I don't know, maybe he's just as smart as you, and you would've BOTH died." He quipped. Shane quickly poised to defend himself against the insult, but found Ryan grinning mischievously. He couldn't help it - he laughed right along.

"Holy shit. Ouch." He responded, still laughing. He probably would have served up some quality banter, had he been more prepared. It didn't really help that laughing jostled his injured rib, either. He instinctively reached for his side with his opposite arm, stopping in his tracks and wincing.

Ryan stopped and turned back when he heard Shane take a sharp, small hissing breath. "Alright. C’mon. We need to do something about that." He said, gently putting his hand on Shane's shoulder. "Follow me."

Shane wondered what the hell he was going to do for a broken rib. This didn't seem like the type of place that had Advil in the kitchen. But he followed anyway.

Through a side hall, Ryan led them into a vaulting room full of greenery. Plants and flowers overflowed from meticulous gardens, fruit-bearing trees lined the edges, they even had corn. Shane didn't even recognize half of the plants. He figured he could just ask Steven later if it was still bothering him at 3am.

"Through here." Ryan said, beckoning Shane to follow him into a side room. Intricately patterned walls enclosed a warm space, not too small, but not overwhelming. Shane recognized a few accoutrements of a kitchen, including a stone-fire oven and old-world stove. He recognized the farmhouse sink, counter space, and the weirdly modern fridge. It was covered in magnets from places all over the world, specifically campy looking ones. Shane made a note to ask about when the hell this man went to Las Vegas.

The center of the room had a dining table, beautiful old wood, with eight chairs of different colors. A few books sat in the center. The space was overall inviting and calm.

"Have a seat. I'll be right back." Ryan told him. Shane sat in one of the colorful chairs, moving carefully to not further irritate his injury. He watched as Ryan navigated the kitchen purposefully, pulling down several jars of leaves and spices. He set a kettle on the stovetop and lit the fire beneath it with one hand, reaching for a dark ceramic mug with the other. He combined what appeared to be a very specific mix of ingredients, added the hot water, and doused the stove.

"Here." Ryan said, coming back to join Shane at the table. He set the mug in front of Shane, who looked at it questioningly. Ryan sighed. "Don't worry, I'm not poisoning you. Promise."

"Exactly what someone poisoning someone would say."

"...Fair. But really. I swear. It's medicinal."

"Are you trying to drug me, Ryan?"

"Shane. Please. It'll help." He urged, genuine. Shane acquiesced. He took a small sip, nearly spitting it back into the cup. Ryan laughed just a little. "I know, not the best thing in the world. But really. It will help."

Shane tried again, sipping more of the hot liquid. It made his mouth feel a tiny bit numb, and he couldn't quite place the taste. But he trusted Ryan just enough, so he drank all he could. By the time he reached the bottom of the mug, he could swear that his rib did, in fact, feel a little better.

"We can sit here a few minutes while the medicine works. Then maybe you should rest before we continue the tour." Ryan said. Shane had to agree. A nap sounded amazing to him right now.

"So what was in this?" Shane asked after a minute.

"Secret recipe. Let's just call it that. Some uh, fancy plants I don't think you have anymore." He smiled, once again finding humor in a joke Shane must have missed. But he smiled back nonetheless. He kept finding that he really couldn't help it.

"I made up a guest room for you, while you were unconscious. The bed should be a little better than the one in my study. Bigger, too. But you can just let me know if you need something." Ryan assured him. Shane wondered what made Ryan so sure he was going to stay. Maybe it was just the injury.

"Great, uh, thanks. I don't have much of my stuff with me, though. Y’know. Clothes, all that. It's all still back at my crappy hotel in town."

"I can find something for you. We can worry about it tomorrow." Ryan offered easily.

"Okay. I think I can live with that." Shane answered, staring down into his empty mug with half a smile.

Ryan led Shane to his room, on the second level, one hall down from Ryan's study. The room was stone-walled like much of the rest of the library, with a queen-sized bed covered in satiny sheets. Gentle lanterns on either side of the bed cast a warm glow over the room, much like the light in Ryan's study. An ornate dark-wood desk and chair sat against one wall, a full-length mirror straight from the room of a Disney princess on another. There was an absurd amount of throw pillows, overall.

"Damn. Fancy." Shane said with a low whistle.

"Let me see what I can find for you to wear." Ryan said. "You settle in a bit. I'll be right back." And with that, he slipped out of the room.

Shane sat down on the bed. He moved his hand to his rib, testing the pain level at the site of his injury. It had calmed to a very distant hum of pain, no worse than a mildly pulled muscle. Shane chuckled in disbelief. What WAS in that tea?

He looked up as Ryan reentered the room.

"Okay, these have always been a little too long on me, so they should fit you okay." He said, handing Shane what appeared to be...a t-shirt and basketball shorts? He directed a look of confusion at Ryan, but accepted the clothes nonetheless.

"You just...had these laying around?" Shane asked. Considering Ryan's current old-world attire, somewhere between tunic and toga, Shane wasn't expecting something you could buy at a modern department store.

"Well, yeah. I mean...dude, what do you think I'M wearing under this elegant drapery? Denim?"

Shane processed that for a moment, failingly. "No, I just, most people in togas don't also own gym clothes, it's been a long day alright let me have this."

"Okay, man. I’m just saying. I keep what I like. I wear what I like." He responded simply. "Do you need anything else? Or are you good for the night?" He asked.

"I...I think I'm good. Thanks." Shane said, softer. He looked up at Ryan, who stopped in the doorway and turned around.

"I'll come find you in the morning. But if you need anything, I'm one hall over." He gestured vaguely behind him. "Otherwise, uh, goodnight."

"Goodnight." Shane responded, and with that, Ryan pulled the wooden door closed. He stared at it for a long time, trying to process even a tiny portion of his day. It wasn't going well. So he changed his clothes (Ryan was right, the shorts fit him perfectly. He laughed when he imagined them too long on Ryan.) and pulled back the covers. The bed was comfortable enough, though after the day he'd had, he probably would have slept just fine on bricks.

The last thing Shane remembers was thinking how he had no idea how to turn off the lanterns. He drifted off soon after, in the warm light.


	2. Acclimation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shane and Ryan venture into town to retrieve Shane's things, more of the library tour, and a sinking feeling. Or is it falling? Both?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the sweet comments on Ch 1! Here's Ch 2. Why yes, I DO love that one peach tank top on Ryan, why do you ask?
> 
> Hope you enjoy! You can find me on tumblr at libraryofages.tumblr.com

A knock on the door startled Shane awake. It took him a few moments to remember where he was, and a few more still to believe it wasn't a dream. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.

Another knock. "Shane?" Ryan's voice called.

Shane sat up, pushing himself back a bit to sit more against the headboard. "Yeah?"

"Can I come in?" Ryan asked.

Shane ran a hand through his hair, and could feel exactly how messy it was. He rearranged what he could. "Yeah. Yeah, sure." He answered. The door opened slowly as Ryan peeked around the edge.

"Did I wake you? You've been asleep for 10 hours."

"Jesus. Guess I needed the sleep."

"I bet. No judgement here, man." Ryan said, making his way into the room. He carried a small tray with two mugs and a bowl. "I brought you more medicinal tea, and some water too. Oh, and I hope you like oatmeal? Maybe? If not I can find-"

"-oatmeal's great. I'm starving." Shane interjected. He didn't realize how hungry he was until this moment, now that his body's priorities of 'not dying' and 'getting sleep' were satisfied. Ryan smiled, relieved, and walked over to the bed with the tray. He set it down in front of Shane, settling on the edge of the bed a little further down.

"Here."

"Thanks." Shane picked up the bowl. The oatmeal was top-chef level presentation. Carefully placed berries, expertly dusted pinches of spices, sliced banana? Shane was impressed. His idea of oatmeal was usually the little dusty packets with freeze-dried sad blueberries. This was way better.

"Did you sleep okay?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah, yes. I couldn't figure out the lamps, but that didn't really matter." He said between spoonfuls.

"Oh, right, sorry! I should have- let me show you." Ryan moved to the table beside Shane, picking up the small lantern there. He angled it a bit and moved in closer, so Shane could see what he was doing. "There's a little wheel here, controls the light output." He pushed his thumb to the right, moving the wheel with it. The light brightened. "And to turn them off, just spin the other way. Ok?"

Ryan turned back to look at Shane for confirmation. "...Yeah. Thanks." He spoke quietly into the space between them. They let the silence hang between them for an extra second, until Ryan broke it.

"Good. Cool. Sorry I didn't show you that before. I should've thought of it." He said, moving back from the bed a bit, almost looking embarrassed. Ryan reset the lamp to its original light level, placing it back on the side table.

Shane scoffed. "Nah. I'd be pretty scrambled if some guy almost died outside my front door, too. Completely reasonable to forget about Lamps 101.""

That got Ryan laughing. "Lamps 101." He repeated in a funny pitch, clearly finding it hilarious. Shane didn't think it was THAT funny, but hey, he'll take it.

They sat in relative quiet as Shane finished eating, now forcing down the unpleasant tea. "Oh boy. Will not get used to that." He said, wincing at the taste. He reached for the water to wash it down. "Thank you, though. For breakfast. And y'know, not letting me die yesterday."

"What was I gonna do? Leave you as a lawn ornament? C'mon." He smiled. Shane chuckled back as he sipped more water.

"So. You said your clothes and things are in a hotel nearby?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah, uh, it's this little old beat up place with green shutters. Right outside of downtown."

"Could you remember the way there?"

Shane thought for a moment. "Probably?"

"Great. Then let's go get your things." Ryan said cheerfully, but stopped short. "That is...if you plan on staying. Awhile." He said more quietly, looking down.

Shane hadn't thought that much about it - but the answer came easily once he did. "Of course I am. Why would I go anywhere?"

Ryan smiled as if he was just told his best friend could sleep over. "Cool, great! I'll uh, I'll be down the staircase on the main floor, whenever you're ready to go. Take your time."

Ryan turned and closed the door behind him as he left. Shane nodded to himself, accepting the perpetual state of 'weird' he seemed to be in the last 24 hours. It probably wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, but that thought didn’t particularly bother him as much as he expected. So Shane just finished his water, and hauled himself out of the bed.

\-----------

Having changed back into his pants from yesterday, but still wearing the shirt he borrowed from Ryan, Shane headed down the hall to the staircase. He saw Ryan as he got to the bottom.

“Ready to go?” Ryan asked, closing whatever book he had been perusing while he waited. The draped clothing was gone now. Instead, Ryan wore a peach-tone tank and knee-length shorts, ready for the desert-like heat. He nearly looked like a different person, especially wearing sneakers and gym socks. But, Shane thought, he certainly didn’t look bad.

“Yeah.” He responded, shifting the strap of the cross-body satchel he was carrying.

“Great. Okay. So, here---” Ryan motioned for Shane to follow him over to one of the atrium tables, on top of which sprawled a large map. Ryan pointed to one of the dots indicating a point of interest. “This is the city’s center. Do you know where your hotel is in relation to that?”

Shane made a sound of contemplation. He’d been in the city for weeks, almost a month now, so he knew a few of the landmarks. He would have known more if he hadn’t been spending most of his time with his nose in books and documents, but thankfully, he was able to identify a nearby city square. He traced his finger along the side street leading out from it, recognizing a bend in the road. “It’s right near here. I’ll recognize it when we get close.” He said, tapping the map in punctuation.

Ryan made a note of the location on a spare sheet of paper, folding it and shoving it into his pocket. “Okay then. Let’s get going. Take it easy on that rib though, okay? The tea helps, but it’s not a miracle. I don’t want you to pull any dumbass moves and end up bleeding internally.” Ryan added, only half joking.

“No dumbassery. Noted.” Shane responded with a laugh.

Ryan relaxed a bit, smiling along with Shane. “Good. I’m holding you to that.”

\-----

“There’s been another door THIS WHOLE TIME?” Shane yelled. Before them was a dark rather nondescript door with no handle. Shane only knew it was a door because Ryan had just indicated it as the exit.

“Okay, yeah, but only for me, it-” He paused. ”Okay, the puzzle doors were set up as a sort of test, a prerequisite for entry into the Library. And when someone made it past them, they were met with the welcoming committee, right?”

Shane nodded as he listened, but a thought crept in alongside Ryan’s words. _And I failed the last one._

Ryan continued. “But when I needed to make trips outside the Library, I couldn’t be opening and closing those giant doors all the time.” 

“Does seem a little impractical.” Shane answered, shoving his distant uncertainty down as far as he could manage.

“Exactly. So, I have this door just for me. It reacts to my biosignature. No one else’s.” Ryan pressed his hand against the dark surface of the door. It rumbled open, sliding into the wall and revealing a small, narrow vestibule within. There was a ladder on the far wall that climbed upward, out of sight. Ryan tipped his head toward the ladder, inviting Shane to follow him.

The climb was maybe 30 feet high. At the top, Ryan opened a hatch into a small cave, climbing out and offering his hand to help Shane. When he closed it again behind them, Shane was impressed at how well it was hidden. If he didn’t know what to look for, he would never have found it on his own.

The cave opened up to the outside world not far ahead of them. Ryan stopped at the mouth of the cave, taking a deep breath. “It’s been awhile since I’ve been out here.” He pointed into the distance; the city looked far, but walkable. “There’s where we’re going. We’ll walk along the ridge there. It’s the easiest way. C’mon.” He said, pointing out their path. Shane nodded, following close behind.

  
They made it to the city square Shane had indicated on the map even faster than he expected. The city was calm in the afternoon sun, most residents preferring to make an appearance after the sun had gone over, and they found his hotel without a problem.

Ryan waited in the run-down lobby while Shane went to grab his things. He watched the occasional passersby out the front window, not realizing how much he’d missed being above ground. Seeing real sunlight. Hearing real people talk to each other. He was so entranced by the world around him, he didn’t even notice Shane had come back.

“Hey. Ry. RYAN.” Shane startled him out of his daydream. “You ok, buddy?”

“What? Yeah. I’m fine. Ready to head back?”

“Yep. I got everything.” Shane said, adjusting the backpack on his shoulder with a forced smile.

“You look like a luggage cart, dude. Give me a bag?” Ryan offered.

Shane would decline normally, but he considered his rib and his promise about dumbassery, and handed his backpack over. Ryan shouldered it easily.

Shane thanked him, and they both headed out. If Ryan dragged his feet a little in town, maybe lingering longer than necessary, well, Shane didn’t seem to mind.

\-----

The sun was nearly down when they made it back to the cave hatch. They both headed to Shane’s room to drop off his things, Ryan lingering in the doorway as Shane began to unpack. 

“Thanks for the help, man. I appreciate it.” Shane said, still digging through his belongings.

“Sure.” Ryan answered. “It was nice to get out for a little bit, anyway. Don’t have much need to nowadays. So thanks for giving me a reason.”

“Well we should do it more often, then.” Shane said without much hesitation. The word ‘we’ was out before he could stop it. He stilled, waiting for Ryan to notice.

“Yeah. Maybe we should.” Ryan answered easily, a small smile forming on his face. Shane relaxed, looking up at Ryan from where he sat on his bed. Something unspoken hung in the moment between them as Shane’s face pinked from more than sunburn.

“Well I should let you uh, settle back in, now that you have your stuff.” Ryan said finally, turning his eyes to the floor. “You can get cleaned up, or whatever, and uh, if you’re feeling up to it, we can finish up the tour maybe? If you want.”

“Sure.”

“Alright then. I think you remember where the shower is and all that, so, you can come find me downstairs in a bit.”

“Will do.” Shane responded. With that, Ryan left.

\-----

The water from the shower felt like heaven. After the last day or so, Shane was ecstatic to finally wash everything away. He sighed, letting the water roll over his closed eyes and face.

 _You failed the last one_. His mind unhelpfully provided. _You don’t belong here. You don’t deserve this_. His thoughts were a steadily growing mess: the thunder of sand, burying him in a tidal wave, the puzzle he couldn’t get right, losing his footing, calling out --- and then waking up. To Ryan. Ryan, who pulled him out of that nightmare, from certain death. Ryan, who carried Shane in all his 80% leg glory up to his study. Ryan, whose laugh and smile were so bright, Shane didn’t think he’d even miss the sun if he stayed here forever.

 _You don’t deserve this._ His brain supplied again.

Maybe he didn’t belong here. But then again, maybe there was a way to redeem himself. To prove that he _does_.

After getting cleaned up, Shane returned to his room, throwing on some new clothes. He reached into his satchel, pulling out endless papers and documents, setting them on the desk by the wall. He had every bit of information he needed here, so he must have just missed something the first time, had one tiiiiiny detail wrong. And god dammit, he was going to find it.

For now, though, Ryan was waiting for him, and that was enough for him to put it off until later.

\---------

After throwing on something comfortable (he was particularly fond of a pair of linen-like pants he had purchased in the city about two weeks ago), Shane headed downstairs to find Ryan. When he couldn’t find him right away, he checked in with Steven, who told him he was “on floor 5, section 2A”. Thankfully his answer came with a map visual.

Shane silently wondered how this place had a hologram AI, but no elevator, as he climbed the final set of stairs. He circled around to find the section Steven had mentioned, finding Ryan re-shelving a book he had in his hand.

“Hey.”

“Hey!” Ryan replied, clearly a little startled. Shane laughed.

“Sorry I thought you uh, heard me.”

“No, no it’s fine, I’m always a little jumpy after reading something from this section.” He smiled back.

“What section?”

“Paranormal.” He said with a shy chuckle. Shane laughed much louder. Ryan, spooked by some ghost books. He found that oddly endearing.

“So wait. This whoooole shelf is all paranormal stuff?” Shane asked.

“Not the shelf, the whole section. Takes up about a third of this whole floor, actually.”

Shane closed his eyes in disbelief. “Why?”

“There’s a lot of crazy stuff out there, man.” Ryan defended. Shane sighed, ending it with another laugh, this one more fond.

“If you say so. Anyway, how about that tour?”

“Right, yeah! C’mon. You’re gonna love this.” Ryan said, an excited grin adorning his features as he slid past Shane to lead the way. He could get used to that face, he thought, as he followed behind.

\-----  
Ryan started by pointing out some general sections as they walked through the main halls once again. As they passed by a section titled “Puppeteering and Theatre”, Shane made note of the location to return another day. He felt similarly about the annex on the third floor, specifically for audio. It was filled with records, cds, tapes, and more, from any artist Shane could imagine (and many he could not). The floors and sections seemed endless, which was delightful and overwhelming, but Shane was starting to learn the general layout. He’d get used to it eventually.

Nearing the end of the tour, Ryan brought Shane to the library’s planetarium, set up with its own hologram system to display any heavenly arrangements the viewer desired. He showed him how he could pick any place on Earth, and see the stars from that place at this very moment. Or, should he rather, how he could bring up any celestial body in the known universe for closer inspection. The lights and colors were vivid and beautiful, and Shane was mesmerized by the way the light danced over Ryan’s features. He could almost swear that the other man’s eyes made their own luminance in the gentle light of the room, but he was probably just tired. It was rather late, after all.

“Am I boring you?” Ryan joked, turning off the planetarium system.

Shane laughed, realizing Ryan caught him yawning. “No, no. Just tired. Sorry.” He answered sheepishly. He would like nothing more than to spend more time here, meandering the halls and talking for hours, but his eyes were beginning to feel heavy.

“It’s pretty late. Why don’t we end here. C’mon, I’ll walk back with you.” Ryan said, clapping a hand on Shane’s shoulder and letting it fall as he crossed in front of him. As the other man’s fingertips left his arm, Shane’s skin buzzed. He chalked that up to exhaustion, too, though he dimly recognized the unmistakable sensation of lying to himself.

The two of them returned to Shane’s room, Ryan once again lingering in the doorway an extra moment.

“Thanks for the tour, Ry.” Shane said, sleep already creeping into his tone.

“You’re welcome.” Ryan paused. “I’ll uh, I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“I would expect so. Be sorta weird if you didn’t.” Shane quipped with a lazy smile.

Ryan huffed a laugh at that, smiling right back. “Shut up, Shane.”

“Goodnight, Ryan.” Shane said fondly.

“Goodnight.” Ryan answered, offering a tiny half-attempted wave as he stepped away, still carrying a smile on his face.

After the long day, the bed felt amazing on Shane’s tired bones. Having had the awful tea when they paused the tour for dinner earlier, his rib was feeling pretty okay, too. The last thing was to lean over and turn out the last lantern. As he nudged the small wheel with his thumb to douse the light, Shane’s mind returned to that morning, when Ryan showed him this exact motion. He remembered Ryan’s kindness, his want to help, and his closeness to Shane. His softer words. That extra moment between them, however fleeting, when the air in the room seemed to change to something more alive. He breathed out in the dark, shifting to get comfortable again. As he closed his eyes, he held onto the memory, let it wrap around his mind gently, and dreamed of brown eyes and laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FWIW: I don't have a specific location for the library. I know I want it to be near where Mesopotamia was, so perhaps the middle east, or somewhere adjacent.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed Ch 2, I'm working on Ch 3 already. Hope to have it up soon.
> 
> Thank you for your time, I love you, have a lovely day


	3. Humanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shane settles in a bit more, getting to spend more time with Ryan. Absolutely not a date nope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER I kept making revisions and then got slammed with my job. BUT HERE IT IS THANK YOU FOR WAITING

Ryan found Shane’s room empty the following morning.

He asked Steven where he went, to which Steven replied “we’re in the music annex.”

“We?”

“Yeah, he’s had a lot of questions.”

Ryan made his way up to the third level, finding Shane sitting cross-legged on the floor of the music annex catalog room, records and cds gathered around himself. He was mid-conversation with Steven.

“You’re up early.” Ryan announced, approaching where Shane sat on the floor. He looked up.

“Oh, hey! Yeah, I just couldn’t get back to sleep this morning. Steven said you were still in your room, and I didn’t wanna wake you, so…” He gestured to the organized mess around him.

Ryan nodded and sat in front of Shane, looking through what he had pulled out of the catalog.

“Steven said you had questions?” Ryan asked, not looking up. He almost seemed nervous, if Shane didn’t know any better.

“Yeah, Stevie here knows everything you could imagine about any artist in here. It’s pretty baller.” Shane answered, knowing full well that ‘baller’ was a ridiculous choice of word, which is exactly why he picked it. With Shane’s dumb smile, Ryan seemed to relax.

“Ahem.” Steven started, looking to Shane with his arms crossed. “ _Stevie_?”

Shane laughed. “Yeah, it’s a nickname, yknow? Stevie. Stevie boy.” He noted the unamused expression Steven was wearing. And he loved every moment of it.

“Anyway...Yes, Shane’s had quite a few questions. He’s been asking me about a group called ABBA for about an hour.”

“Hey hey, they are  _ more _ than a group. They were the voice of a generation!”

“I didn’t see that anywhere in the source documents I looked up. Is that an official fact?” Steven quipped back.

“You take that back. They are iconic.”

“That’s more opinion than fact, but alright, whatever you say,  _ Sasquatch _ .” Steven smiled devilishly.

“Ohohoho, this guy’s got jokes! A little mean, almost. I love it.” Shane laughed. “As long as this doesn’t turn into a HAL situation, I do believe we’re going to be great friends.”

Ryan had been sitting back enjoying the friendly bickering, but now he was lost. “HAL? Who’s HAL?”

“Y’know. HAL.” Shane answered. When Ryan still looked lost, he continued on. “Oh c’mon, you know, _ I can’t let you do that, Dave _ .” He quoted, mimicking the monotone voice with a vacant stare.

“Wait, who’s Dave?” Ryan asked.

“Have you not seen 2001?” Shane questioned, incredulous.

“Like, the year? I mean, yes, -”

“No no, man, the movie! 2001: A Space Odyssey.” Shane corrected, growing exasperated.

“Oh. No. I haven’t. I don’t spend a lot of time watching popular films, to be honest.” Ryan admitted.

“Oh my god. Wait, wait wait - what else haven’t you seen? Shit, have you seen uhhhh,--” Shane thought for a moment. “--Jurassic Park! Have you seen Jurassic Park?”

Ryan shook his head, turning his mouth up into a half-smirk of apology.

“Holy shit.” Shane said, excitement in his voice. “We’re fixing this IMMEDIATELY. We’re having a movie night. Right now.”

“It’s still morning.” Steven added from behind him. Shane rolled his eyes. Who programmed the sass in this guy?

“Fine. Day. Movie day. Yep, whole day.” Shane clapped and rubbed his hands together excitedly. “We’re gonna broaden your film horizons today, Ryan. Buckle up.”

\-----

Shane made a list of quintessential movies as they made their way to the theatre room. He had narrowed it down to four for the day: Jurassic Park, The Terminator, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and Toy Story. He handed the rest of the list to Ryan, letting him choose the fifth.

“I don’t know what any of these are.” Ryan protested with a laugh.

“Doesn’t matter. They’re all great. Just pick one that sounds good to you.” Shane waited. Ryan looked over the list, face scrunching a little in concentration, which Shane found rather endearing.

“....Ghostbusters.” He answered finally, handing the list back. Shane shook his head, laughing as he took the paper from Ryan.

“I had a hunch you might pick that one.” He smiled.

\-----

The theatre was humble, with a couch and a few chairs, more like a nice living room than a cinema auditorium. The screen was oversized, as a theatre screen should be, and curtains lined the side walls. Shane was glad for the simpler furniture, as opposed to theatre seats, or he would never make it through five movies with his long-ass legs. Instead, Shane thought, this would be like watching movies at home. He wasn’t quite sure why that thought made his face a little warm.

Ryan got comfortable on one end of the front-and-center couch, Shane taking the other. “Alright. Ready for some dinosaurs?” Shane asked.

“Let’s do it.” Ryan agreed. Shane loved that Ryan was so agreeable with this, that he was content to spend the whole day watching movies together, letting Shane share something of himself with him.

When Shane checked on him, to be sure he wasn’t bored, he caught Ryan absolutely  _ glued  _ to the screen - his hands tensing during suspenseful scenes, lips curling into a smile for others. He did often ask questions, and Shane always had the answers, but otherwise, he was entranced, much to Shane’s delight.

He found himself enjoying every movie anew that day, seeing it through the other man’s eyes. He spent more time watching Ryan than the screen itself, a warm feeling in his chest blooming at every one of his reactions, and he couldn’t help but love it.

Ryan was falling asleep by the time Raiders of the Lost Ark was ending. Throughout the course of the day, they had somehow made their way closer to the center of the couch, Ryan’s head having tipped onto Shane’s shoulder, and Shane felt almost bad for waking him.

“Ryan…” He whispered, touching his shoulder gently.

“Hm? I’m awake, Indiana was um….I’m awake.” He responded, rubbing his eye.

“It’s okay, man. It’s over already.” He smiled. “It’s pretty late. Why don’t we head to bed?”

Ryan nodded in response, eyes still squinting, as he stood from the couch and stretched. Shane followed suit, trying not to think about how much colder his side felt without Ryan against it.

As they walked back to their rooms, Ryan could barely keep his eyes open, but thanked Shane for the day nonetheless. He left him with a tired smile, and a mention of wanting to see more from Shane’s list another time, which Shane was more than glad to agree to.

\-----

Alone again, Shane retired to his own room, closing the door behind him, face and ears still warm with memories of the last several hours. Remembering how casually Ryan fell against him, how his hair went in all directions where it was pressed into Shane’s shoulder.

He felt that feeling recede as he laid eyes on his desk, the surface covered in papers. He sighed as he approached it. The feeling of fondness, of joy, he had held for hours now, faded into something akin to guilt. He picked up one of his many pages of notes as he sat down, carding his free hand through his hair. If he couldn’t figure out one damn puzzle, who was he to enjoy any of this?

Staring intently at the page in his hand, he began to sift through what he had. He made new notes as he went, scrawling what he could remember from the puzzle doors he did solve, hoping to create a more complete picture. But after over an hour, he still came up empty.

He felt his eyelids growing heavier as he leaned his head into his hands. His bleary eyes stared half-heartedly at the pages, his own notations beginning to look like nothing more than incoherent squiggles and shapes.

_ Fuck it.  _ He thought, pushing himself up off the desk with a surge of force. He wasn’t figuring it out tonight. But deserving or not, he could still do one thing pretty well, it seemed.

Make Ryan happy. 

So for now, that’s what he was going to do.

\-----

Shane and Ryan shared breakfast the next morning, starting the day together as they had quickly become accustomed to. Shane was thankfully done with the terrible medicinal tea now, instead enjoying actual,  _ real  _ tea along with his breakfast. He stared into it as he formed his words to Ryan.

“Hey. So, I have an idea.” He said, not looking up.

“Yeah, what’s that?” Ryan answered.

“Let’s go into town tonight.” He said, looking up at Ryan for just a moment. “Y’know...for fun. Dinner, maybe. Or something.” He continued.

“Oh.” Ryan said, breaking into a smile. “Yeah, that’d be great, sure.” He agreed. 

“Cool, great.” Shane answered, smiling himself. He took another sip of his tea. “Why don’t we meet back up by the entryway around, uh, 6?”

“Works for me.” Ryan said, shrugging with a laugh.

Shane nodded to himself, sipping his tea once again. He tried to place the feeling coursing through him, and settled somewhere just this side of excitement. Or maybe he was nervous. Why was he so nervous?

\------

They both spent the day going about their own activities - Shane spending some time in the older sections of the library, and Ryan spending most of his day reading books about film. Shane felt a little proud when he had found him halfway through a book about industry techniques.

As 6pm neared, Shane dug through his bags for….he wasn’t sure. Some part of him wanted to look nice.

_ Not that this is a date, or something.  _ He thought, pulling out a dark blue button down. He had taken his contacts out that day, needing the break on his eyes, but looking in the mirror, he thought he looked pretty good. Clear glasses, dark button down rolled up to his elbows - not too bad. He smiled at himself, but wondered at what point he had started caring if he looked good or not.

He waited by the entryway, leaning against a pillar and studying a large stone tablet on display. It was easily taller than he was, probably a ton or more, with support wires keeping it steady and in place. Ancient writings were carved into its surface, possibly Cuneiform, if Shane was correct. It was fascinating to see in person.

Shane was so consumed by the wonder of one of the first writing systems on Earth, that he didn’t hear Ryan walk up behind him.

“Shane?”

“Oh, sorry, I was-” He turned around to see Ryan waiting, wearing a button down himself, short sleeve with a light pink pattern bright against his warm skin. It was a style Shane hadn’t seen him wear yet, and he silently hoped he would wear again, as he swallowed hard.

“You, um-” Shane started, catching himself. “You ready to go?”

“Yep!” Ryan answered cheerily. Shane tried to hide the pink of his face as they walked out into the setting sun.

\-------

They picked out a local restaurant with some outdoor seating, an evening breeze blowing gently through the side street. The local town haunts started to come alive as the sun disappeared below the horizon. Warm lights lit the streets and passageways with an inviting glow, dimly outlining the people walking through them. Shane watched them passively, zoning out a little, until Ryan spoke up.

“So, you’re a professor, what do you teach?” Ryan asked, taking a sip of his drink. He had ordered some kind of fruity thing, Shane opting for a beer instead. 

“Ah, I teach - taught, rather - classical studies.”

“Taught?”

“Well, I mean, I kinda got distracted finding this library, you probably haven’t heard of it.” Shane joked, earning a laugh from Ryan.

“So you gave up your whole life teaching to find it?” He asked.

“Yeah, I... I guess I did.” Shane responded. He wanted to explain, to tell Ryan he didn’t mind, that this was more than he ever expected to find on his search, but the waiter had returned to take their main orders.

\------

They traded friendly conversation over dinner, about whatever came to mind, laughing and enjoying the other’s company as the night went on. Every so often Shane would say something that had Ryan gasping for air, clutching at his own chest in laughter. And, in kind, Ryan would say something absurd and have Shane doubling over, too.

Shane’s third beer had his head swimming comfortably, Ryan still working through his second cocktail across the table. He was clearly feeling the effects of his drinks as well, as he casually undid the top two buttons of his shirt, making Shane’s stomach flip in a not-so-unpleasant way. He felt his ears grow hot in the evening air as he finished the last bites on his plate.

Ryan leaned back in his seat as he finished his food. He took a slow, deep breath, looking up into the deep night sky above them. The yellow-orange light fell over his features as he closed his eyes, humming contentedly. One hand came up to cover his stomach, rubbing in small circles.

“You certainly look relaxed.” Shane mused, sipping his beer with a fond laugh.

“It’s just nice.” Ryan answered, barely moving. “Good weather.” He paused. “Good company.”

Shane blushed. “Yeah.” He agreed, looking down at the bottle in his hand. “Hey uh, I’ll be right back, beers went right through me.” He said, standing.

“Okay, I’ll be here.” Ryan answered, eyes still closed.

Shane smiled, shaking his head, as he headed off into the back of the restaurant to find the restroom. He went to open the door, still feeling the pleasant float in his head, but was sobered quickly by one sound.

“Madej.” A firm voice called to him. Shane recognized it right away, bristling as he turned around to face the man it belonged to. He forced a friendly expression.

“Nassir, hey.” Shane responded, playing dumb as his heart raced in his chest. The man before him was not quite as tall as Shane, but he was sturdy and imposing nonetheless.

“Good to see you,  _ Professor.  _ Any new progress on our little search?” The man, Nassir, asked him, not entirely kindly. A certain sharp edge wrapped his words.

“Oh, yeah, I uh, think I may have found...something…” Shane started, scrambling. “I’m still working on translating it though, but it might be a promising lead.” He offered.

Nassir stepped forward, crowding into Shane’s space a little more. “It’s been  _ weeks _ , Madej. I’ve been more than patient. I need to see  _ results. _ ” He said, the underlying threat not lost on Shane.

“I think I should have something soon, Nassir, I really do.” Shane pleaded. “Translations can take time. Y’know?”

“ _ Well work faster! _ ” The man snapped back. He stopped himself before getting loud enough to draw attention, taking a calming breath before training his gaze back on Shane. “...You have a week. Meet me back here then. And I swear, you best have something to show me by then, Professor. Or we’re going to have a  _ problem _ .”

“Yep, yeah, understood. You got it.” Shane agreed.

“Good. Well. You have a nice night then.” Nassir said, dusting off Shane’s shoulder in what could be construed as a friendly gesture - if Shane didn’t already know to read it as a threat. He nodded silently, hoping his face didn’t betray his unease. He let go of the breath he’d been holding as Nassir left the restaurant.

Ducking into the bathroom, he splashed his face with cool water, leaning over the sink. He had kept his cool pretty well, he thought, considering. And now he had a week to...do what? He wasn’t about to give this man the answers he wanted. But his other options seemed slim.

Luckily, he had a few days to figure it out. He finished up in the bathroom and headed back to the table, trying to shove his fear down as far as it would go.

\--------

Shane paid for their dinner when he returned to the table, where Ryan was STILL rubbing his stomach (which Shane found weird, yet endearing), entirely unaware of the events Shane had just endured.

They walked into the nighttime streets at a meandering pace, Ryan still all contented laughs and happiness, which had Shane’s smile slowly returning. His low-key contentment soon gave way to unbridled excitement, however, when he spotted a small band playing music in the street. A small group of people danced joyfully to the lively sounds filling the air, and Ryan couldn’t help himself - he jumped right in to join them.

Shane watched Ryan in amusement as he danced like a beautiful, beautiful fool. Shane distantly realized his mind had supplied that word, ‘beautiful’, all on its own, but he let it go. Maybe there was just enough alcohol left in his system, or maybe he stopped caring at some point. Maybe his fear from earlier had broken something in him. Who knew. Shane sure didn’t.

The band began a new song, this one full of passion like the last, but not quite so wild. Ryan gestured for Shane to join him, which he politely declined with a half-smile. Ryan beckoned again. “C’monnn, big guy! Get out here!”

Shane blushed a little at the nickname, but still shook his head. Ryan approached him, hips still swaying as the tempo picked up some, reaching out to Shane. “Please? C’mon.” He asked one last time.

Shane gave in.

“Alright, okay. Fine.” He acquiesced, making a show of rolling his eyes in defeat, but his breath caught in his throat as Ryan took his hand to pull him back with him - his skin warm and sure when it touched Shane’s. That familiar electricity tingled across his entire arm. And Shane found himself dancing.

He very well might have looked like a grade-A idiot, limbs akimbo as he towered over the other dancers, but he really, for once, didn’t care. All he saw was Ryan - Ryan’s smile, Ryan’s laugh, Ryan’s half-open shirt, Ryan’s skin in the side street lights - nothing else mattered. And by the time the song ended, Shane’s heart was beating faster than fear could ever make it. The both of them paused in the sudden quiet between songs, devolving quickly into shared laughter.

As they recovered, Shane checked the time. “It’s getting pretty late, we should probably get headed back.” He said, a smile still on his lips. Ryan nodded in response, a little disappointed but understanding, and they set out on their return trip.

\-------

The way back was slow, half by necessity and half on purpose, even with the night chill settling in outside the city. Ryan walked closely to Shane, shoulder bumping his own every so often, which was more than enough for Shane to keep warm.

The two of them chatted casually as they went along. Ryan’s comments were often strange, but delivered as if they were the most normal words in the world, which Shane appreciated about him. Today more so than ever, he was just unapologetically himself. And it made Shane feel...something. Something...good.

\-----

Finally back inside, they paused in the entryway, neither quite ready to leave the other’s company.

“I had a lot of fun tonight, man. Thanks for um….getting me out of here for a while.” Ryan said, idly shifting his weight as he scratched the back of his neck.

“Yeah, of course. It was. ...Fun, I mean. It was good.” Shane agreed, stumbling over his words a little.

“Yeah. It was.” Ryan said more quietly, moving his gaze to the floor beneath him.

Despite the late hour, neither of them moved to leave. A contented silence fell over them.

“Shane?”

“Hm?” Shane didn’t even have time to look up before he felt a chaste kiss on his cheek, a hand clasped gently on his shoulder.

“Thank you. For…” Ryan paused, considering. “...Just thanks.” He nearly whispered in the space between them. Shane’s heart threatened to break his rib all over again.

“Yeah.” He whispered back with a gentle smile, not knowing what else to say. 

“Goodnight” Ryan said, pulling away with a gentle laugh, leaving Shane in the atrium to process what just happened.

“Goodnight…” Shane whispered for no one to hear. He touched his face where Ryan’s lips had been, chalking it up to the alcohol that must still have been lingering in Ryan’s veins, but his face blazed red nonetheless.

He, too, made his way to bed, thoughts fighting for dominance in his mind. The fear, the worry, the guilt, the affection - all at war as he crawled into bed. He closed his eyes, doing his best to hold on to one thought - to hold on to Ryan - as he finally drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. That's certainly a complication. Bastard ruining (not)date night.
> 
> Chapter 4 soon! Thanks again for reading!


	4. Kaleidoscope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shane works to fix the Nassir situation, 2 steps forward and 1 step back with Ryan. Then several other steps in various directions.
> 
> Little bit o angst in this one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to amarochstar, bottomryanbitch, and Ashley (do you have a name here? DO YOU?) for helping me sort out the flow of this chapter.
> 
> Thanks for being patient, hope you all like it!

Ryan’s study was quiet. Shane sat on the now-familiar bed, waiting - for what, he wasn’t sure. He struggled to remember - when had he come to Ryan’s study, anyway? He glanced at the books stacked by his foot, but couldn’t make out any of the titles. He rubbed his eyes, trying to clear his vision, but the blur stubbornly remained.

“Shane.” A voice said, startlingly close. Shane looked up to find Ryan barely three feet in front of him. He hadn’t heard him come in, which was strange, the room being as silent as it was.

But what really took Shane’s breath away was his appearance - in place of his usual gym-clothes-and-toga combo, Ryan was draped in delicate sheer blue fabric, gently cascading around his form like a vivid waterfall. His chest was bare, the only other clothing being a pair of dark purple shorts.

Shane felt he should look away, eyes following the curve of every muscle, but he didn’t. Instead, when he settled his eyes on Ryan’s face, he found the other man’s gaze dark, and wanting. He moved closer to Shane as his breath picked up, lips parting.

Any inhibition Shane had left fell away as he reached up to pull Ryan closer, guiding him to step between his knees. The sheer fabric felt no different from the air around them, Shane thought, as he slowly removed it from Ryan’s shoulders, letting it fall to their feet.

Shane sighed as Ryan wrapped his arms around Shane’s neck. No fear plagued the back of his mind, no worry seeped into his thoughts - wait, what was he supposed to be worried about again? As Ryan pushed forward, dropping Shane back onto the bed, the question faded from his mind quickly.

Ryan felt like the sheer fabric had, weightless. As he moved to touch his open skin, feeling nothing more than the idea of sensation, Shane was forced to realize he was dreaming. He felt the world around him shift, beginning to fade, as Ryan hovered over him. He knew it wasn’t real. That this wasn’t his Ryan. But maybe he could allow himself this reverie, believe himself worthy of this dream-Ryan’s affection. Allow himself to touch, the way he’d wanted to when he watched Ryan dance in the evening light, even if the touch was dulled by the haze of a dream.

He fought to stay asleep as the darkness creeped in at the edges of his awareness. “Don’t go.” He pleaded, failing to stop the tide of nothingness.

“I won’t.” Ryan responded, sealing his mouth to Shane’s. Shane responded with a breathy noise, laced with emotions Shane could never hope to express, and of knowledge that Ryan was wrong. That he couldn’t stay in this dream forever.

The emptiness drew upon them, dropping Shane back into darkness.

\------

He awoke alone, back in his own bed, the muffled haze of the dream no longer keeping things at a dull roar. A pang of guilt settled into his stomach, somewhere alongside the butterflies still lingering from last night’s events, as well as the fear and apprehension over Nassir. It was not a pleasant mixture.

Shane covered his eyes with his hands, letting out a steadying breath. There was...a lot to handle here. But Nassir took priority - as Shane worried what may happen to him if he didn’t. Worse yet, what may happen to  _ Ryan. _

Ryan. He had been so close to him in his dream. He was allowed to hold that Ryan, to kiss him. But now he had to face  _ real  _ Ryan, and act like it hadn’t made him feel the emotions that it did. He reminded himself that Ryan was tipsy last night, and might even be  _ embarrassed  _ over the kiss goodnight. It was best for everyone if he just acted natural, and just focused on other things for a few days.

And so he set his sights on how to deal with Nassir.

\-----

Shane met Nassir a number of months ago, out of necessity more than anything. He’d been casually searching for information about the Library at first, after hearing of it in passing, thinking it was no more than some ancient fairytale. But as he prodded at the few vague leads he’d found, it started to feel more believable, and that was saying something for Shane. He wasn’t one to believe in fantastical stories - but there were certain elements that made sense. To Shane’s surprise, he found himself believing it might actually  _ exist. _

He’d started to genuinely dig and track down leads after that. Some were dead ends, others seemed to lead him in circles, until he met Nassir through an online forum. The man had some intriguing resources, including a few specific leads Shane hadn’t encountered before, but the man himself was stuck in his  _ own  _ research, needing someone with specific skills and ancient historical knowledge. Skills and knowledge that Shane happened to have.

Too excited to think too much about it, Shane dove right into a sort of partnership, flying out to Europe the following week. This was the most promising lead he’d had, he'd be damned if he was going to let it slip by.

Nassir was nice enough at first, or at least seemed to be, all smiles and friendly interactions. But there was something off about him, Shane noticed. Something furious beneath his forced amicability. It didn’t take too long before the friendly mask wore off.

As Nassir grew more impatient, he lashed out - at his small tactical team, and eventually, at Shane. He’d overheard some less than scrupulous conversations on late nights, one in particular setting him into a panic.

“Once we find that damn library, we’ll have more money and power than any man has ever dreamed of having. I’ll be a goddamned King.” He growled, eliciting a chuckle of agreement from his second in command of the small group. Shane knew then - Nassir could  _ never  _ be allowed to find the Library. And so he began to keep him at arm’s length, feeding him the bare minimum of information.

But now he worried that even just that bare minimum was enough for him to find it anyway. He had no other option but to try to throw him off the trail, get him as far away as he could from the Library, from Ryan.

His best bet was something believable. If he could concoct some bullshit story the right way, he might have a shot. Nassir was smart, but Shane  _ had _ those specific skills and knowledge he needed - without him, Nassir should lose the scent. And, hopefully,  _ never _ find the Library.

Shane knew exactly where to start, gathering anything he could find about ancient mythology. He passed by Ryan, arms full of weathered books and documents, trying his best to look busy.

“Shane, hey! There you are.” Ryan said, stopping him. “I missed you at breakfast this morning.” He chanced a small smile, clearly nervous.

“Oh, uh, yeah-” Shane started. “I uh, I wasn’t hungry. Figured I’ll just grab something later, y’know?”

“Right. Right.” Ryan responded, his smile fading. “Mythology?” He gestured to the books in Shane’s arms.

“Yeah,” Shane sputtered, “Just--- working on a personal project.” He forced a friendly chuckle.

“Oh, cool. Cool.”

Awkward silence filled the air between them.

“Well, uh, these are kinda heavy, so-” Shane said, adjusting the stack he was carrying.

“Right, yeah, sorry, go ahead.” Ryan answered, forcing another smile. Shane returned it, tight-lipped as it was, heading off to another section of the library with a deepening pit in his stomach.

He did his best to compartmentalize. There was a lot to sort out with the Ryan situation, and Shane knew he needed to focus on this above all else. He had six days to figure this out. So he spread out his books and papers across a few tables, in an out-of-the-way section, and got to work.

\-----

The next full day, all the way into the following night, Shane had done his best to give Ryan plenty of space, heart aching as he seemed to drift further away with every interaction. He knew it was mostly for the need to focus, or at least that’s what he told himself, but he also didn’t want to...feel  _ things _ , if Ryan was just an overly-affectionate drunk. Shane suspected that was the likely case - especially since Ryan is so  _ beautiful  _ and  _ exuberant _ , and he found it damn near impossible that he’d be that lucky. Who was he to even  _ deser-- _

Shane shook his head, stopping the train of thought before it could spiral out of control.  _ Focus,  _ he thought.  _ You made this mess. You have to fix it. _

He found a few promising ideas, but couldn’t quite weave a believable lie with them. He had dozens of books to go through yet, though, so he hadn’t completely lost hope. He sighed heavily as he picked up the next one in his stack.

\-------

The following night, Ryan found Shane sitting against the wall of the planetarium, surrounded in a makeshift nest of pillows and cushions from the atrium. Shane had taken a much needed break, wanting to look at something that wasn’t the pages of a book for a little while. His head was tipped back as he watched the virtual night sky above him glitter and float weightlessly. Ryan made his way over quietly, settling beside him, letting their shoulders touch.

“Hey. I was wondering where these went.” Ryan said, gently picking at the cushions beneath them.

Shane laughed. “You could really use some, I don’t know, chaise lounges in here or something.”

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that.” Ryan joked. A silence filled the space between them for a minute, as it had several times over the last few days, but it didn't have the same miserable sensation in its wake. “So what are we watching?”

“It’s uh, it’s the night sky from home. This time of year. Right there is Orion’s belt. And right there is uh. Ah, shit.” He stopped, laughing. “Oh well. I’m definitely solid on that being Orion’s belt though.”

“Excellent knowledge of the cosmos there, big guy. You’re killin it.” Ryan was laughing right along with him. The sound made its way through Shane's bones, a lullaby for the ache that lingered in them. 

“Hey hey hey it’s not my specialty okay? I just...I just like looking at em.” Shane said, softer.

Ryan paused, watching Shane fondly. “They are unfairly beautiful, aren’t they?” He said in agreement, turning his eyes back to the sky above them.

They watched the scene above them silently for a few minutes.

“Do you miss it? Home?” Ryan asked genuinely.

“...Sometimes. The familiarity more than anything. But I don’t really have any family left back there, so...at least here it’s….nice not to be alone.” Shane confided, his head dropping bashfully. He looked over to Ryan as he felt a hand cover his own. Ryan was looking at him so, so fondly that Shane thought he might goddamn cry.

“I know the feeling.” Ryan said, just before bringing his hand up to Shane’s face, pulling him in carefully, hesitantly, giving Shane the option to pull away. But he didn’t. In fact, Shane was the one who closed the final distance.

Ryan’s lips were soft and warm against his own, moving gently, sweetly, as the last bits of tightly coiled tension unwrapped themselves from Shane's body. He wrapped his arms around Ryan, fingers stroking gently where his hair met his neck, briefly recalling his dream from the other night. Being able to touch Ryan,  _ real Ryan,  _ was infinitely better. He felt Ryan smile against his mouth, just before breaking the kiss.

“I was afraid I scared you away.” He said quietly into the space between them. Shane’s fingers continued their gentle movements at his hairline, featherlight and fond.

“And here I was afraid you were just still drunk or something.” He laughed.

Ryan feigned offense. “Excuse you, I was sober by then!”

“You were telling me about snakes in the walls in London not 5 minutes before. It was a reasonable assumption, Ryan.” Shane teased.

“Shut up, Shane.” Ryan quipped back, leaning in to kiss Shane again.

They kissed lazily, in no rush, just enjoying the closeness with one another for a while, until Ryan took Shane’s bottom lip between his teeth. That elicited a surprise sound from Shane, who pulled back to look at Ryan.

“Sorry, I got carried away--” Ryan began to explain. He looked exactly halfway between apologetic and  _ not sorry at all,  _ if the darkness in his eyes was any indication.

Shane laughed. “Carried away is fine. C’mere.” He said, pulling Ryan closer. Ryan climbed on top of Shane easily, knees on either side of Shane’s hips, as he ducked back in to reconnect their lips. Things felt less slow and calm now, as both of them tried desperately to pull the other closer. When Shane began moving down Ryan’s neck, lavishing what open skin he could, Ryan made a tiny, desperate noise, spurring Shane onward. He ran his hands down Ryan’s sides, finding purchase on his hips, pressing him down as he sucked at the tender skin above his shoulder. Ryan pulled Shane back up to him, tipping his chin up to bring their lips back together. He wrapped his arms around Shane’s neck as he tilted his head, deepening their kiss. Shane parted his lips without hesitation, letting him in as he felt Ryan’s hips rock against him, seeking friction. Everything felt amazing, and bright, and incredible, but holy shit, if they kept going like this, he was going to end up coming in his pants like a horny teenager.

“Ryan, Ryan Ryan---” Shane said, pulling back from Ryan’s lips. Ryan leaned back from him a little, looking down at him with half lidded eyes and reddened lips. It took serious self-control for Shane not to just dive back in anyway.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, holy shit  _ nothing _ , but maybe we should...I don’t know.” Shane shrugged a little.

“Slow down?” Ryan sounded disappointed, but smiled in some semblance of agreement as he said it.

“It pains me, truly pains me,  _ literally actually pains me, _ but yeah. Maybe.” Shane breathed a laugh, looking up at Ryan apologetically. “Nothing against you, at all, believe me.” he added.

Ryan leaned forward, bringing their foreheads together as he sighed. “Can we just, stay here for a while? At least?” He asked, eyes closed, breaths finally slowing.

“I’d like that.” Shane responded quietly. “C’mon, up off my lap before I lose my mind.” Shane said a bit louder, tapping the sides of Ryan’s thighs in encouragement. Ryan swung his leg over to Shane’s left side, turning around and rearranging to fit himself against the other man’s chest. He laid one arm across Shane’s middle, sighing contentedly as Shane’s arms wrapped around him.

Shane gently traced small circles on Ryan’s back with his thumb, and it wasn’t long before he could tell Ryan had drifted off to sleep. He pressed a soft kiss to his head, letting himself revel in this moment, as the stars twinkled like slow motion fireflies above them.

\------

The following morning, after having said their proper goodnights the night before (Ryan snuck in one last parting kiss, to Shane’s delight) and retiring to their own rooms, breakfast was...normal again. Better than normal, Shane realized, as he stretched his fingers out to touch Ryan’s hand on the table. Ryan laughed, looking down at his plate with a bashful breath of air. Despite everything else he had on his mind, Shane was at least glad to see that bright, blinding smile again. 

They finished breakfast, talking like they normally would, except that now, Shane could reach out and touch Ryan. Could gently press at the boundaries of whatever this had become. And while that pleasantly stirred up the butterflies in Shane’s stomach, he knew he had to keep working to keep them safe. So with a kiss to the top of Ryan’s head, he went back to work.

It was definitely less miserable when he could seek Ryan out whenever he took a short break. He only rolled his eyes a little when he found him in the paranormal section again, kissing him nonetheless. It certainly made the work more bearable. 

\--------

As the day turned to evening, Shane was really starting to feel the looming weight of Nassir’s deadline. Three days. And still no concrete bullshit story to give him. He had a number of believable pieces put together, but something was still missing. Forgoing the mythology books, he sat down at the desk in his room, adding his newest notes to the pile already spread across the surface.

He’d been here before, a number of times now. He’d spent hours poring over these same notes, trying to figure out what he did wrong at the last puzzle door. The newest puzzle to solve wasn’t proving any easier. Shane dropped his head into his hands, palms rubbing his face in irritation. Couldn’t he get anything right? What right did he have to be here, among the greatest collection of knowledge on Earth, if he couldn’t even figure out the damn door to get  _ in? _ And worse yet, now he’d put him  _ and _ Ryan in danger, when he barely had a right to be here at all.

That old familiar voice in the back of his mind writhed to the surface.  _ You don’t deserve this. _

Shane didn’t even fight the notion now. Of course he wanted to stay, but he wasn’t worthy of the wonders the Library had brought him. Wasn't worthy of…

He knew what he had to do - fix this problem, make sure Ryan was safe, and  _ leave. _ The Library deserved someone who belonged there, anyway.

He brightened the lantern beside him, and got to work.

\------

After a while, Ryan came looking for Shane. He knocked gently on the open door, announcing his presence.

“Can I come in?” He asked, pausing.

“Hey, yeah, of course.” Shane answered.

Ryan made his way over. “Working late?”

“Hey, yeah, I’m uh, just. Looking at my research I had for the Library.” He wasn’t about to tell him anything about Nassir. The less he knew, the better.

“Yeah? What for? I mean, clearly you found it.” Ryan said with a smile.

Shane paused, setting down the page in his hand and turning to Ryan with a sigh. Maybe he could tell him part of the truth, at least. He owed him that much. “Because,” he started, “because I fucked up the last door.” He admitted.

“Dude, it was really  _ really  _ old. I don’t blame you for breaking it.”

Shane shifted, irritated. “No I mean, I, ugh. I fucked it up. The puzzle. I didn’t even pass the test, Ry. I just-” he turned back to his desk, away from Ryan. “I just want to figure out what I did wrong. I want…” another pause as he idly picked at the edge of a paper. “I want to be worthy of this place. I want to belong here.” He said more quietly. Ryan couldn’t know how deep that feeling ran, but the sentiment remained.

Ryan’s face fell as he stood from his perch on the bed. He crossed over to Shane, wrapping himself over him from behind, burying his face into the other man’s neck. He felt Shane exhale.

“I don’t care about a bullshit puzzle, Shane. You’re here now. And as far as I’m concerned, you  _ do  _ belong.” He mumbled into his neck. He felt Shane laugh lightly, reaching up to gently touch Ryan’s hair. Shane needed to hear that so much more than he thought. It put some seed of validity into the words, hearing them from Ryan, and Shane hoped that maybe that seed would grow into a beautiful, believable truth.

“Thank you.” He all but whispered to Ryan. Shane closed his eyes, and they just stayed there like that for a little while, Ryan holding on to Shane, and Shane gently petting Ryan’s hair. Content just to breathe with one another. To just exist.

Ryan, as he always had been, was the first to break the silence. He pressed a careful kiss to Shane’s shoulder as he pulled back. “I  _ would _ like to see what research you have though, if that’s okay?” He asked.

Shane sat up straighter. “Yeah, of course, knock yourself out.” He offered, gesturing to the array on the desk before him.

Ryan reached for the closest paper, and another, looking through them curiously. “I was curious exactly how you ended up finding this place. This research is extensive, holy shit, dude. This must have taken you years!” Ryan praised. He set down the pages in his hands, reaching for another. “But how did-”

He stopped cold, his hand suspended mid-reach. Shane turned around to face him. “What? What’s wrong?” He asked, seeing Ryan’s face go from calm, to fear, with a touch of...was that anger? He hadn’t known anger in Ryan, but it sure looked that way.

“You- I-” Ryan started, the gears in his head turning, alarm bells ringing, as he stepped backward slowly.

“Ryan? What?!” Shane asked again, feeling the onset of panic, the fear of some unknown transgression he had clearly committed.

The anger grew stronger in Ryan’s eyes, fighting for dominance with the fear behind them. “Are you with them?!”

“With who? Ryan, what is WRONG?”

Ryan stormed back to the desk, snatching one particular page from the desk, slamming it back down directly in front of Shane. It was a photocopy of a handwritten journal, the writing appearing as nonsense, but structured. There were notes in pen all around the image, presumably from Shane. At the bottom, the beginnings of a cypher were written, scratched out, and rewritten several times. Ryan pointed to the image forcefully.

“This. WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?” He yelled. Shane startled, his hands up in a gesture of submission. He searched for words.

“It’s from a book, I---I tracked it down, it was the final piece in findi-”

“You HAVE this book?” Ryan cut him off, the upset and rage clear in his voice, the fear overshadowed. But there was something else there, too.

“No, no, I don’t, uh, it’s….not me, a um, colleague.” He stammered, swallowing nervously under the fire of Ryan’s fury.

“You said you came here ALONE.” Ryan seethed.

“I did! He doesn’t even know where I am!”

“But you’re working with him?”

“I….no, well yes, sort of-”

“And this is HIS book?”

“Yeah, he said it’s like, a family heirloom or something, I-”

With that, Ryan spun Shane’s chair to face him, hand wrapped threateningly around his arm. He leaned in closer. “Who. The FUCK. Are you.” He growled. “Are you with them?”

“Who? Ryan, I don’t even-- just, slow down-” Shane tried.

“If you’re working with the owner of that journal---” He gritted, leaving the threat unfinished. He faltered, his hand easing on Shane’s arm for only a moment, as if two forces were trying to control the same man. “I’m...how can I be so stupid?” Ryan said, voice beginning to crack ever so slightly. 

And then Shane saw it. Recognized that other emotion beside the rage, beside the fear. It was  _ hurt. _ Shane didn’t know what the hell was going on, but he did know he wanted to find that hurt, soothe it, help Ryan find his way back to himself. Bring him back from the edge of whatever precipice his mind now stood unsteady on.

“Ryan, hey, hey, listen, I barely even really know the guy, okay?” Shane said softly. “I just knew I needed the book. He just happened to own it. I’m not…’working’ with whoever you think I am. Not like you think. I promise.” He soothed.

Ryan relented slightly. “And he has no idea where you are?”

“No. I swear to you. He has no idea I  _ actually _ found the Library.”

Ryan stepped back, sitting exhaustedly on the edge of the bed, head in his hands. He sighed heavily, looking up only to blink back tears before lowering his head again.

Shane approached him gingerly, settling beside him. “Can you tell me what’s going on? What’s so bad about the book, or journal, in the first place?” He asked quietly.

“It’s not about the journal.” Ryan began. “It’s about the person who wrote it.”

Ryan turned to Shane, continuing.

“It was the last person to visit the library.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The Library deserves--" Yeah, ok Shane. Keep telling yourself it's about what the library deserves. Haha.
> 
> Dunno if you've seen a colored digital artwork of Ryan in that sheer blue floating around on Tumblr - but if you have, that's also me! My thirst blog for Shyan and general depravity is cdaemons.tumblr.com
> 
> Full disclosure - I've had that planetarium scene written out for over a month. Even my note cards of the plot lines had little hearts with it :) literally kissing under the stars I am a S A P
> 
> come talk to me about this AU, or whatever you want, at libraryofages.tumblr.com
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me!


	5. Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan can recall the last visitor quite clearly. So he begins to relay the story to Shane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hi! I know it's been awhile. I apologize. Thanks for sticking with me long enough to be reading this. I ain't abandoning this story. Ever.
> 
> Please see the end of this chapter for a note about an upcoming chapter.
> 
> Now on to chapter-specific warnings:  
> //TW blood (minor)  
> //TW death (non-major character)
> 
> Also, I was so excited to add a few fresh tags to this story. Oh MAN.
> 
> Anyway. I hope you enjoy it! Thank you for sticking with me!

_The third and final puzzle door opened, revealing the library interior, glorious as ever. The Keeper, not yet bestowed his new name, greets the explorer at the entryway, his face beaming._

“Welcome to the Library of Ages! I'm The Keeper, I protect and manage all you see here.” The Keeper gestured behind him to the expanse of the Library, his words seeming almost rehearsed, though excited, as he continued on. “You've passed our tests, and you are welcome here. What is your name?”

The woman, weathered but young, and wearing a look of awe, took in the immense sight before her eyes settled back on the Keeper.

“All this time...and it’s real. It’s actually _real.”_ She marveled. “Suna. I'm Suna.” She said, brushing off her hands before offering one in greeting to him.

“Suna. Welcome.” He smiled again, taking Suna’s hand. “It's so nice to have someone in the Library again. It’s been years since our last visitor and Steven can only hold so much of a conversation.”

“Steven?”

“Yes, Steven. He’s the library Index. You want to meet him?” The Keeper asked, childlike in his enthusiasm.

Suna tensed, her expression one of apprehension. “Oh, alright. I didn’t realize there was someone else here. I wasn’t expecting anyone at all, actually.”

“Oh, he’s not--- he’s just--- it’s easier if you see for yourself. C’mon. Follow me.”

\-----

Suna followed behind the Keeper, struggling to keep up as they passed endless books, tomes, and artifacts. She paused to trace her fingertips over a looming, giant stone tablet in the entryway, craning her neck beyond it to see down the stretching aisles. The Keeper called after her.

“Here he is,” He said, stopping in front of a large white dais. Suna caught up, coming to a stop beside him in confusion. She opened her mouth to speak, but was abruptly cut off as Steven winked into existence.

“Hello, Keeper. I see we have a new visitor. Lovely to meet you, Miss...”

“Suna.” She answered, bewildered.

“Suna! Lovely to meet you, Miss Suna. I’m the Library index, Steven. Sentient-TEchno-Variant-ENtity, technically. But ‘Steven’ has been the preference of most visitors. Welcome!” The hologram said warmly. When Suna didn’t respond, the Keeper filled the silence.

“You can find Steven all over the Library, he can answer just about anything for you.” He offered.

Suna reached out to Steven, her hand passing right through the blue-tinged light. She smiled, fascinated.

“What is this? I’ve never known magic to be more than tricks.” She asked the Keeper, pulling her hand back.

“Well, that’s hard to explain. You can call it light. Mirrors. Certainly not magic, though, you’re correct.” Steven answered for him.

“Incredible. I must learn more. It’s beyond anything I’ve ever seen! I must know how it works.” She paused, considering. “And you said it can tell me anything I want to know?”

“Anything. Just ask, anytime.” Steven responded with pride.

Suna smiled wide as she looked back to the Keeper, who returned it gladly.

\-----

Suna spent her days in various sections of the Library, often found tucked away with books and priceless artifacts, or asking Steven a litany of questions, all the while furiously making notes in a leather-bound journal she carried with her. She was driven, sharp, and curious, making the Library an ideal place for her to be. The Keeper found himself enjoying her presence, leaning more and more on the new routine she had fit herself into so easily.

After a few weeks, he was more than certain in his calling her a friend. Even Steven seemed to get along with her well enough, answering questions about all manner of ancient relics at all hours of the day. Questions the Keeper had no reason to second-guess.

They played chess and other old-world games in the low lantern-light after dinner most days ( _Your move, my dear Keeper)_ , and when he went to bed, Suna would stay up making notes for a while longer. The Keeper had asked to see them once, but Suna clutched the journal close with tight hands at the mere mention, so he hadn’t asked again, worried he’d offended her. Some things are personal, he thought. No big deal. He was more than happy to allow her the space and privacy.

Her wonder at a wide range of topics made for fascinating conversation, even some things the Keeper hadn’t ever considered himself. Little by little, he felt loneliness fade. It was not a feeling he missed, nor was he eager for it to return. Suna, thankfully, showed no signs of leaving---she was a clear fixture in Ryan’s life.

Until the day she held a saber to his throat.

\-------

“For what it’s worth, dear Keeper, I really am sorry for this. But with all of the incredible possibilities in my future, the unfathomable fortunes, well, I think I’ll sleep at night.” Suna punctuated her point with a press of the saber, closer, grazing his skin. Her two associates, unwelcome guests she had led into the Library, disappeared into the aisles. “Now, if you let me and my friends here go without a fight, I’ll let you live. I don’t _want_ to kill you. But should you try to stop us...” This time the blade drew a tiny trickle of blood.

Every inch of his skin was on fire, every muscle tightened and ready to release in a snap, barely held back beneath his fury. Beneath his _hurt_. In a flurry of motion, he pulled away just enough to avoid the worst of Suna’s reactionary attack, receiving a cut to his cheek as he swung around her side with practiced grace. He landed a jab into her back, destabilizing her stance.

Suna tripped forward as the Keeper ducked away from another slice of the blade. He used her force against her, pulling her to the ground with her own attack. As she reeled, he kicked her saber away.

“You know me enough to understand that I _can’t_ do that, Suna. What are you _doing?_ ” He said to her, pinning her down as he did. But he was so caught up in Suna’s betrayal, he didn’t hear the sound of fast approaching footsteps.

A strong arm wrapped around his neck in a chokehold, one of Suna’s two ‘friends’ having come to her aid. The Keeper shifted his weight to the side, breaking the hold and slipping behind his attacker. He knocked him off his feet easily from there, all in one swift motion. As he began to get back up, the Keeper landed a firm blow to the man’s face. He collapsed, unconscious, as ‘friend’ number two made an appearance. He got in a lucky shot, his knee colliding with the Keeper’s face, but the Keeper didn’t relent. He picked up the second man’s rhythm, blocking his consecutive attempts, until he saw an opening - which he gladly took. A jab to the throat sent the guy off-balance, and two more to the head sent him to the ground beside his cohort, just as unconscious.

Before he even had time to process, a sharp, white-hot sting crossed his back, shoulder to opposite rib.

He cried out, whirling around in defensive mode in an instant. Before him, bruised and beaten, stood Suna, one shaking hand clutching the saber, the other holding close a bag of treasures one of her ‘friends’ had presumably collected. He knew in that moment that he had the advantage, even unarmed. Suna swayed and staggered, the last blow to her face not shaken off yet - this was his opening.

He swept his leg across her ankles with force, and as she struggled to regain balance, he slipped out of her saber’s reach. Suna clearly reassessed her chances, turning to run.

She was headed right for the puzzle doors.

“Steven! Seal the doors! Now!” He called out. A rumbling began to fill the library as he chased after her. They passed the first and second doors easily, but the third was nearly closed now.

“Suna, stop! It’s closing too fast!” The Keeper called after her futilely, but Suna couldn’t be stopped. She put every last bit of energy into her sprint, her footfalls more aggressive, as she neared the closing gap of the towering door. Throwing her bag ahead of her to the other side, she tried to slip through after it.

The Keeper’s warning, to a mixture of relief and horror, was confirmed. The door had closed, as did the breach in the library.

\-----

“She fucking _died?_ ” Shane asked, eyes wide as dinner plates.

Ryan, visibly exhausted from his recounting of the tale, nodded solemnly. “I didn’t want her to. Y’know? Despite all she did, I guess I wanted to believe the friend I’d come to know was still in there somewhere. I don’t know how else it could have ended, but I didn’t want her to die. I don’t know. It’s not one of my favorite memories.”

“I’m sorry, Ryan. Really.” Shane said, softer.

Ryan continued. “After that, I dragged her unconscious goons out into the middle of nowhere, leaving them to wake up with serious headaches. I knew just enough to understand they probably weren’t the brains of the operation. I figured the puzzle doors would be enough without Suna to guide them. Plus, I had already seen enough death that day. I wasn’t about to add to it.”

Shane nodded. “And so, the journal...”

“Was hers. Yeah. But I checked her bag, everywhere I could think to look, and she didn’t have it with her that night. It was out there in the world somewhere. And that scared me for a long time.”

“Jesus, Ryan. I don’t even know where to start. That must have been a lot.”

Ryan laughed half-heartedly. “Yeah.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, until the gears in Shane’s head started turning again. “Hang on. You said humans hadn’t been here for hundreds of years, but Suna-”

“That _was_ hundreds of years ago.”

“You described it like you were there.”

“Because I _was._ ”

Shane’s brain came to a screeching halt. “Wait. You’re telling me. You’re _HUNDREDS_ of years old?”

“More than that.” Ryan answered, matter-of-factly.

“Holy shit.” Shane whispered, processing. “So then how long HAVE you been here?”

Ryan shrugged.

“Okay, I mean, don't get me wrong, you look great, but if you're that old, _what are_ you?” Shane asked.

Ryan, again, simply shrugged.

“Ryan you can't just * _imitates shrug*_ to all my questions here, this is a lot, man! Work with me!” Shane prodded.

“I don't know! Okay? I don't even remember. The only thing I have is my original objective: protect the Library. It’s all I’ve ever had.” Ryan snapped back, stopping Shane’s questioning in its tracks.

“Well, what about Steven? Doesn’t he have any answers?” Shane said more softly, sensing Ryan’s aggravation. Ryan looked exhausted, like he’d been through this thousands of times.

“I've asked. He gets some kind of...access error. Like it's a corrupted file, or--”

“--or you’re locked out.” Shane finished. “Jesus, Ryan.”

Ryan breathed out a tiny exhale of joyless laughter.

“So you've just been blindly following that initial mission forever?” Shane continued.

“Yeah. It seemed like the only real option, felt right at the time. And every time I left here, there was so much _pain_ out there. And war. And _hurt_. But this? The Library? The only war and pain here are in volumes and tomes. It's just...easier.” Ryan pulled himself inward, bracing against an imagined chill. Shane sighed, wanting to reach out, but instead deciding to let him have a moment of space.

“You said you missed the outside world.” He quietly noted.

Ryan idly picked at the fabric of the bed quilt. “Maybe. Sometimes. I don't know. There have been days, and nights, where I really did love it. I would be on a Library expedition and stumble on a massive festival, with lights, and colors, and it was beautiful. Seeing people laughing, and dancing, and just _happy_. But then other times I'd be rescuing texts and tablets from warzones. And it was just…a lot.”

“Humans are complicated.” Shane responded with a huff of apology.

“Yeah. So I've seen.” Ryan agreed, still not meeting Shane’s eyes.

“Okay, yeah, not everything can be good, and safe, all the time. But the danger can be worth it. I mean, I would have never found this place without a little bit of danger.” He paused to laugh briefly. “Maybe a lot of danger, looking back, but still. I never would have made it here, I never would have found _you._ ”

Ryan visibly reacted to Shane’s words. A small, sharp intake of breath, followed by an easing in his shoulders. He brought his eyes up to meet Shane’s.

“Maybe. I mean, for what it's worth, I'm glad you did. Find me.” He said, the beginnings of a smile taking shape across his features. It fell just as quickly as it came, though, as he looked away once again. “I’m sorry. I know I panicked, I - I just thought you were...when Suna...I saw the journal, and I-”

“Hey, hey hey, I know. It’s alright, okay? Listen, this has been...I don’t know what to even-” Shane started, failing to find words. “I’m just gonna hold you. That’s the only option that’s making sense right now. I’m just gonna hug you for a while. Okay? Is that alright?”

Ryan nodded wordlessly. Shane stood up from the bed, offering Ryan his hand and pulling him up with him. He brought Ryan in, as close as he possibly could, wrapping one arm around his middle, stroking Ryan’s hair gently with the other. Placing a kiss atop his head, he whispered softly. “I’m so sorry, Ry. I’m not going anywhere, okay? I’m right here.”

Shane felt Ryan’s arms tighten around his waist, a shaky breath against his chest. They stood that way in silence, just breathing, letting touch convey what words were failing. Shane closed his eyes, hands continuing to idly soothe, and considered all Ryan must have seen. Eons of wonders, sure, but also ages and ages of _hurt_ . And yet, here he was, full of so much _love_ and _kindness_ , despite the wounds the world had dealt. 

And he would give anything to never see him hurt again.

“Shane?” Ryan looked up after a while. His eyes were glossy and red-rimmed.

“Hm?”

“Can...” Ryan began, stopping to breathe out a small laugh, “Nevermind.”

“What?”

Ryan looked back up, locking his eyes with Shane’s. “Can I stay with you? I’d just...rather not be alone.”

Shane’s face softened. “Of course you can, Ry. Yeah.”

Ryan pressed up on his toes, placing a soft kiss to the corner of Shane’s mouth. “Okay. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He said, pulling away. He stopped as he approached the door, turning back.

“And Shane?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.” He said.

“For what?”

“Listening. Understanding.” He answered, thinking for a moment. “For caring.” He added.

Shane nodded as if to say ‘of course’, and Ryan smiled as he left the room.

\------

Shane was all but asleep by the time Ryan opened the door to come back in. His eyes opened, adjusting to the sliver of light that briefly filtered through the door. 

“Hey, sorry, I think I fell asleep.” Shane said tiredly, barely above a whisper. “C’mere.” He willed his muscles to move, throwing back the cover and reaching for Ryan in the dark. A weight shifted the bed, Ryan adjusting so that his back was against Shane’s chest. Shane lazily wrapped an arm around Ryan’s middle, fingertips grazing his hip, catching the silk of the sheets for a moment. He was a little surprised to find Ryan bare-chested as he touched the smooth skin of his waist, not dissimilar to the touch of the silken sheets.

Shane’s brain glitched. The sheets were still pulled back. But he had touched silk on Ryan’s hip.

Shane was a little more awake now. “Ryan.”

“Hm?”

“Are you wearing silk boxers right now?” Shane felt Ryan’s pulse quicken where he touched his skin.

“Yeah.” Ryan replied, voice still quiet.

“Any particular reason?” Shane’s heart was keeping up with Ryan’s now.

“I told you before.” Ryan said, turning to face Shane. His voice was quiet and low. “I wear what I like.”

Even in the darkness of the room, Ryan’s eyes were somehow darker when Shane met his gaze. His hand was still resting just above Ryan’s hip, thumb tracing small designs into the skin there, when Ryan’s hand found its way to Shane’s jaw. Even in the low light, Shane could see a peek of his smile. It faded into a soft expression as Ryan moved forward, capturing Shane’s lips with his own. Shane’s grip on Ryan’s skin tightened involuntarily, that familiar electric feeling he had come to associate with Ryan making its way through his veins. He moved his hand to Ryan’s lower back, pulling him in closer. Close enough, Shane thought, that Ryan could probably tell he wore what _Shane_ liked, too.

Shane’s hand traced lower, fingertips nudging at the waistband of the silk garment, pausing in question. Ryan pulled Shane’s lip between his teeth, soothing it after with his tongue, and Shane took that as a pretty safe bet to continue.

He slipped his hand beneath Ryan’s boxers, reaching down to grab the bare flesh of Ryan’s ass. He earned an appreciative hum from him, not too loud, but noticeable enough. Shane decided in that moment that he’d like to find out what other sounds Ryan could make, and so he dug his fingertips into the skin further, pulling Ryan into him, against him, in any way he could. Ryan’s response was to push Shane’s shoulder away - well, not away, Shane realized, but pushing Shane onto his back. He broke their kiss as he draped himself over Shane’s hips, thighs on either side. Ryan braced himself over him, both of them breathing heavily in the small space between them. Shane took the moment to try and make out the lines of Ryan’s form from what little light came from the hall. An edge of light gently captured his features - his shoulder, his arm, his ribs, hip, thigh - all ensconced in a midnight halo. The dim light even found its way to the edges of Ryan’s eyes, seeming to light them from within. In that moment, Shane truly, finally believed that the man over him wasn’t human. That he had indeed seen eons in his time, millenia passing him by, the world completely unaware. Unaware that someone so beautiful, in every way, was beneath their feet, quietly categorizing their entire existence. And Shane was lucky enough not only to know him, but to hold him. To kiss his skin, to touch him. To quite possibly love him.

He reached his hands around Ryan’s back, brushing the skin so gently that Ryan shivered beneath the touch. He traced the lines of Ryan’s spine, stopping when he felt an imperfection in the skin beside it.

He felt Ryan pull in a breath, which he held briefly before exhaling slowly, shakily.

“It’s from back then, isn’t it?” Shane asked, voice gentle.

Ryan met Shane’s gaze again. “Yeah. It doesn’t hurt, it just...I don’t think it will ever heal completely.” He said, looking away now, almost in shame.

“Hey, Ry - don’t. It’s okay.” He brought his attention back to him, voice growing even quieter, a whisper of comfort. “It’s okay.”

Shane gently, reverently, traced the full line of the scar across Ryan’s back, from shoulder blade to rib. Ryan closed his eyes, just breathing, letting Shane heal something beneath the scar, something he had assumed could also never heal.

Shane’s touch drew across Ryan’s ribs, featherlight, following the lines of his body around his sides and up his chest, finally settling to rest at the nape of Ryan’s neck. Ryan’s eyes opened again, peering down at Shane with that same faint iridescence as before, letting himself be pulled down on top of him more completely.

Flush against one another, the stillness and reverie that had draped itself over the room began to fade, replaced by warm breaths and reddened lips. The sounds of them shifting among the satin sheets that fell ever further down the bed. The sound that fell from Ryan’s mouth as they ground their hips together.

Shane’s hands found themselves over the edge of Ryan’s silk boxers once again, thumbs dipping beneath the waistband.

“As much as I love these, I think there’s too much clothing involved in this right now.” Shane said, barely above a whisper. He heard Ryan breathe out a laugh, and felt him shift up off of his chest, pressing one more kiss to his lips. He got up to his knees, contorting a bit to remove his boxers and throwing them to the floor. Shane took that moment to remove his t-shirt and boxers as well.

When Ryan hesitated, still down by Shane’s feet, Shane reached out to him. “What are you waiting for? Get back up here.” He said playfully. He saw a tiny reflection of light from Ryan’s smile as he crawled back up to him. Shane almost wished there was more light in the room, wished he could see Ryan in all his beauty, but settled for mapping his body with his hands.

Pressed together again, all obstacles removed, the friction they’d both been seeking was found. They slid against one another, finding a rhythm, until Shane tapped Ryan’s hip, stalling him for a moment. “Sit up a little.” He instructed.

Ryan paused, but followed whatever plan Shane had. He sat up a bit, now in more of a straddling position, Shane pressing hard against him.

“Okay, I’m just gonna, uh” He started, but figured actions spoke louder than words right now. He licked the palm of his hand sloppily, wrapping it around Ryan’s dick. Ryan pulled in a breath, chest hitching at the new contact, hands finding their way to Shane’s sides. He bent back down, making sure Shane had room to work, but bracing himself just close enough to recapture Shane’s mouth with his. Shane twisted his hand on a few consecutive strokes, picking up the pace just a little, earning a new sound from Ryan’s throat, and Ryan’s teeth on his lip.

Seeking more enthusiastic noises from Ryan, Shane moved his hand from Ryan’s thigh to his chest, ghosting his fingers over a nipple. Feeling Ryan pull back from his lips, shudder, and begin bucking into his hand - that told him to follow that particular lead. He again found the sensitive bud with his fingertips, this time pinching and rolling it gently between two of them. Ryan’s breath stuttered, his lips falling open, no longer able to even focus on kissing Shane, and when Shane pinched more roughly, Ryan all but fucked into his hand, a choked moan torn from him as he buried his head in Shane’s neck. 

“ _Jesus Christ”_ Shane whispered, involuntarily thrusting against Ryan’s ass, seeking some amount of relief. He could feel Ryan’s breath on his skin, panting and desperate, followed by the wet heat of his mouth covering the skin there. It was sloppy, unfocused, with grazes of teeth, interspersed with breathy noises.

“Don’t stop, I’m-” Ryan slurred into Shane’s neck, not bothering to finish his sentence. Shane obeyed, again tweaking the hardened bud in his fingers, while making sure to match Ryan’s set rhythm with his other hand.

“Go ahead, Ry. I got you.” Shane whispered. And that was all it took, as Ryan bit down into Shane’s shoulder to stifle a choked off moan. Shane could feel Ryan’s cum coat his stomach and chest as he rode out his orgasm, another softer moan following his breaths, teeth turning to a gentler kiss at his neck. His heavy breaths evened out as he floated back down from the high, pushing up on his elbows to look down at Shane.

Once he caught his breath, he looked between them, where Shane’s chest now glistened in the low light. “Sorry.” He said, sheepishly.

Shane laughed, reaching for his discarded shirt. “Don’t be.” Ryan sat back, unhooking his leg from Shane to let him reach, noticing full well that Shane was still painfully hard. Shane used the shirt to clean up as best as he could, but as soon as he threw it back to the floor, Ryan’s hand was on his shoulder, pushing him back down into the bed.

“My turn.” Ryan said, climbing back over Shane. He trailed his mouth down Shane’s neck, starting from his lips and making his way down in bites, kisses, and lavishes of his tongue. He left light bruises at his collarbone, continuing downward, and shifting to move himself a little further down the bed. When Shane processed what was happening, he felt any and all available blood rush to his dick. This man was going to kill him, right now, right here, from lack of oxygen to the brain. Any functions that didn’t involve Ryan’s breath over his hips pretty much shut down at that point.

Ryan teased him with nips of teeth and kisses on his hips and thighs, running his hands down Shane’s sides, pressing a final kiss to his hip bone. Shane watched, in what amount of light he had, as Ryan centered just over Shane’s dick, warm breath ghosting over him, making his head spin in anticipation. When Ryan took his head into his mouth, soft lips wrapping the tip in delicious heat, Shane nearly came right there. And when he felt Ryan take him further, his tongue now playing a larger part, he was really, really glad he hadn’t. But holy shit, it wasn’t going to be long.

Ryan got to work, pumping Shane with one hand as he took him further and further into his mouth with each bob of his head. He swirled his tongue at the underside of Shane’s tip, lapping up the leak of precome before pressing back down. Shane knew he was close, and tried to warn Ryan, but when his dick sheathed itself completely into the back of his throat, and Ryan looked up at him with shining eyes, it hit him all at once. The dark room went white as he came, stars blinding his vision as spurts of cum pulsed onto the back of Ryan’s tongue. When Ryan finally pulled back, Shane felt like he had just come back from astral projecting into another plane of existence.

“Holy _fuck_ Ryan, you’re um,” He laughed, head falling back. “Pretty fucking amazing at that.”

Ryan laughed, resting his head by Shane’s hip, looking up at him. “Thank you. I have had a liiiiittle practice over the years, but otherwise, I’m just really _well read_.” He smiled wide, laughing again as he crawled back up beside Shane.

Shane chuckled at the pun, gently wrapping Ryan into his arms as a contented quiet fell over them. One thing did have his curiosity, though.

“Hey uh, I need to ask you something.” He said after a while.

“Hm?”

“This is gonna sound stupid, but, ok. Your eyes.” Shane began.

“Ohhhhh, yeah. Did they do the thing?” Ryan asked, completely even-toned.

“The thing?”

“Reflect light like a...a cat?” He clarified.

“YES that’s, --okay, so I wasn’t crazy. I thought I was maybe in some, I don’t know, sex haze or something.”

“Sex haze?” Ryan laughed.

“Yeah, hallucinating. Or whatever.”

“Nope, just part of whatever I am. Built in night vision.”

Shane winced. “So that whole time. You could just see _everything_?”

“Mhm.”

Shane flushed with embarrassment. “Wow, uh, sorry about that.” He laughed nervously.

“Don’t be.” Ryan answered, not even lifting his head. “I loved all of it.”

“Well, good. Because, for the record, I wasn’t _not_ into it.” He admitted, chest rising in soft laughter. Ryan smiled against him.

Sleep began to creep into the edges of Shane’s world entirely against his will. Where once before he didn’t want to wake from his dreams, now he was afraid to fall into them. Maybe if he stayed awake, he thought, the night wouldn’t end. He wouldn’t have to face Nassir, Ryan wouldn’t have to ever feel hurt again, they’d be safe, breathing slowly beneath silken sheets, everything could just stay the way it was. But even as his thoughts began to blur into slumber, he knew that wasn’t an option. He’d have to face Nassir. He had to protect Ryan however he could.

But for now, feeling the weight of Ryan on his chest, feeling his breaths becoming even and serene, that would be enough until morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!NOTE: I'm not putting in the official archive warning yet since we're not there, but I want readers to know, just in case: there will be a major character death eventually. But IT'S NOT A TRAGIC ONE. Please don't dread it! I'm asking for your trust in me. If you need more info, or anything, you can message me anytime. I'm happy to privately relay any details you need for you to check that it's ok for you <3 hit me up on tumblr at libraryofages.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Thanks so much for reading! I have more written, but like to let it simmer before posting. I have no idea how long this is going to be. But the whole plot is written, just....filling it in. Follow me on tumblr @libraryofages for updates and occasional art for the story!
> 
> The original characters are important to the plot, but they don't come in til later.
> 
> Last but not least, dont you EVER LET THE BOYS SEE THIS. HOLY SHIT. EVER.
> 
> Anyway, I love you. Thank you for reading <3 updates should be pretty regular. :)


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